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Monday, May 10, 2010

V Mahajirzadeh: Laws of Ventilation and Other Quotes

I Mahajirzadeh: Mushtaque Ahmed Yusufi - An Introduction
II Mahajirzadeh:Manjhli and BaRi
III Mahajirzadeh:Choti and the Siami Begum
IV Mahajirzadeh:The Great Hand Car Wash

Mahajirzadeh had some unique and weird ideas. He used to say education should be for the educated: it should not be wasted on the uneducated.

He liked qawwalis but hated qawwals. For ganays (songs) and ganaywalis (singers) his views were diametrically opposite.

For abortion and sood (interest) he had a unique solution. Make them legal for those who believe in them and illegal for those who do not. Had he moved here we are sure he would have added halaal food to this list.

Contrary to prevailing customs, he liked his wife and other's children.

Mahaijirzadeh provided the stimulus for temporal's Third Law of Ventilation. In any room or hall, regardless of the size and position of ventilation ducts, the smoke tends to flow in the direction of the most sensitive nose. And, of course, without the help of any revelation, heavenly or earthly, you can guess temporal's Fourth Law---The rate of flow of the smoke is directly proportional to the sensitivity of the nose.

Much before the advent of VCR , we learned to appreciate the old black and white Hollywood westerns he would screen every Saturday evening. He would switch off the sound from the Bell & Howell 16 mm projector and play Sorayya, Sehgal, Aatma, and vintage Nurjehan on his Sony reel to reel. Once you get used to Gary Cooper and Aatma or John Ford and Sehgal, you would watch westerns no other way.

His religious views were oracular. He told us once, pehlay insaan, phir muslmaan: pehlay ta'aleem, phir tafheem: pehlay khuda, phir rasool. We were very young then to fully understand or appreciate him. Even now there are times when we find him paradoxical.

He used to say Pakistani Muslims were of three kinds: those who get lucky --- often, occasionally and seldom. In turn they were liberal, moderate and fundamentalist.

We never saw Mahajirzadeh emerging from the mosque. Ostensibly he never entered one either.

Conclusion: VI Mahajirzadeh:Inventions on Monday May 17


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