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Monday, March 01, 2010

Nawwab and I: Going Green or Black and Red

t: Reduce.
N: Reuse.
t: Recycle.
t: R4? You stump me N.
t: Ink? Hink? Think? Rethink?
N: Don't spill. Save trees. Use condoms.
t: Yes, and must emphasise, do not reuse it.
N: Absolutely! Do not reuse, recycle it.
t: Speaking of condoms...
N: Being facetious again?
t: What is on your mind Nawwab? Recycling is an old subject.
N: Earth is mother. Dharti Ma. You and your kind are abusing its hospitality.
t: You are right, we that where condoms come in?
N: Curb wastage, and curb population, curb potential consumption.
t: Woh sub tou theek hay, laikin yeh khayal aaya kaisay?
N: I was nourishing the green grass. Colour green brought it to the fore.
t: Let me get the poop bag. Where?
N: Near Marji's rose bush.
t: Marwao gay N! Why the colour green?
N: Green is life.
t: Hmmmm...a digression...achcha, what colour is death.
N: You and your digressions. Your thoughts?
t: Thoughts have no colours Nawwab.
N: When thoughts turn into deeds. They have a colour.
t: If you mean Red, that is only in extreme.
N: Death can be black or red.
t: This is so black and white.
N: Haven't you learned yet not to be testy with me?
t: Touchy are we this morning? I only meant you are so clear.
N: Flattery may be food of fools and your men of wit would occasionally also fall for it. But I have news, animals are oblivious of it.
t: Speaking of green death - burying, exposing or cremation?
N: Burying or exposing body for the birds is green. Cremating is polluting.
t: There - you just offended a near billion.
N: We are discussing green and respecting dharti ma.
t: Then why do we spend billions on toilet tissue?
N: Ever heard of bidet?
t: No everyone can easily afford one.
N: then there is the lota, with or without the bottom.
t: Aha, are we surreptitiously invading the cultural turf?
N: It is factual if anything. Even though it must be admitted your people attached the spout.
t: Ouch! You are hitting below the Equator.
N: Woof woof.
t: This waste can be curtailed. Estimated sales of toilet paper in the United States (2005) US$5.7 billion - In Canada US$643 million - In India US$7.7 million *
N: Yes and per capita consumption of toilet tissue in North America 23.0 kg - in Western Europe 13.8 kg - in Latin America 4.2 kg - in Asia 1.8 kg - in Africa 0.4 kg*
t: You have a point N, let us encourage hand wash.
N: R5.
t: R5?
N: Re-educate. And this poll would help.
t: If there is a Noble for Greening, I'd recommend you.
N: Flattery will not get you anywhere with me. Woof woof.
t: Tell me N why are politicians called lotas?
N: Lotas can be round bottomed - without base - they can roll in any direction.
t: hmmm...makes sense...then...these politicians can roll over or switch to any political party.
N: And this will help if you are a novice.

* Sales link


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