in defense of hamidm

Thought would never have to see this day...no... not referring to that mention of your well loved daughters as a chunnoo/munnoo...something else bothered me today...straight out of the left field... and a yaar suggested to come here and indulge in some senator or was he congressman? ...cathartism...so dutifully...oh I have so much respect and love for this yaar...hum such boltay haiN...here I am...and what do I find here...you alongwith "dot dot, merlot-lovers(for the record both you and jawahara ---my comments in parentheses), jehadis, fanatics, liberals, seculars, fundamentalists, and conservatives"... and phaja of wink-wink mandi... Bandu's third cousin from his father's seventh wife's step mother's side (oh that is another story) masquerading as Karachi's Bundoo...Allama Iqbal's loyal servant Imam Din's (?) adopted wife's son from the third marriage...sorry.. make that 'adopted' appear before the son...Jawaid's bootlegger...Zia's mujawar ..sure he must have a mujawar...I mean if there is Jabra Shareef there has to be a salaana Urs and those charas (tauba tauba) and bhang (do they merit one tauba or two?) sessions alongwith fine qawwalis -- like Fareed (mota and marhoom)and Maqbool (chota) Sabri's immortal rendition ( have it on tape -- will auction it to highest silent bidder) describing when the Prophet was born ----"Hoorain naachiN, chum chumma chum..." --- and we heard it and enjoyed this before we knew what mujrah was which was before we learned how to spell it which was before we saw one which was before Muzaffar Ali's version of Umrao Jaan Ada --- you know the one mis-labelled as Rekha's Umrao Jaan ---and incidentally would you care to know that they have discovered that MaaNg-l'aye-thay-chaar-din Zafar's grave in that forsaken city formerly known as Rangoon .... and now they lay those chadors and have salaana Urs at his old, permanet but recently discovered grave?...now how to tie this back to the mother of all sweeps -- heheh... am not referring to anyone here --- just how to tie this sweep back to your inclusion in that unholy alliance that includes all save one or perhaps if I am charitable those two gentle folks?...well I protest my one solitary vote .. raise this hand...O duniya walo!.... notice lay lo!.. I protest...haaN yeh zul'm hay!... Naa insaafi hay!...Yeh ghalat jhaRRoo hay...aur baaqi sub logouN kay saath ziyadti hay...agar hamid nay khuda ka naam liya tha... tou ilzaam srif hamid ki hud tuk hee mehdood rehna chahiyay...baqi duniya tou khuda ka ehteraam karti hay...oos kay rasoolouN say ish'q karti hay...aakhir may my lord oon baaqiyouN ka kya kusoor tha....baqiyoon ko (thumping on the desk) is ilzaam say barri kya jai mylord... aur is hamid ko aisi ibrat naak saza di jaa'ye keh rehti duniya oos ki mashkoor ho...jis kitab maiN baar baar likha hay paRRho, ghoure karo, amal karo oos ka yeh joor'm na-qaabil-e-qubool hay...and before you punish him let us hear from Begum Hamid also... she has the right to submit a statement as the most aggrieved party...how can anyone waltz with a fine single malt .... oh no he was accused of being a merlot lover ... that is even worse...and preach about striving to be an insaan first ...naoozobillah .... is say tou hum paidaishi musallman hee achchay haiN...:)