zehra

zeh'r:

general comment on Parents & The Pill

...yara the whole desi perspective on sex stinks...on sex? it stinks on just about everything;)...we know that...but do not admit it...storks still carry babies down...bhagwan ki kirpa say, Allah kay ehsaan say bachchay paida hojatay haiN!...sex education is a taboo subject...sometimes i think we are slow...and dichotomy starts right from the home...hiding behind faux-talk of morality and culture ( and i am not even bringing religion here)...khandaan and upbringing....we bury our heads in the sand...and just in case some nut-case mulla gets uptight with this...let me add explicitly...am not talking about sex, pill or condom usage only...

...the younger generation for ever pushes the envelope...in another era they used to smoke and return home after freshening up with elaaichi (cardomom) or paan thinking their elders would not suspect that they have been smoking...it is a game...each generation knows what the other is up to...that they chose to turn their head and hide themselves away from the truth is their fault or mechanism to deal with it...take your pick

...replace elaaichi with pill or condom...

...and yet there are holy desis who make fun of the writer (zehra)...one even taunted her to be more explicit...another publicly proclaimed her celibacy...sad...am sad for their comprehension skills and for their pathetic life they lead...for the vicarious pleasure they seek....she has said what she wants to...it is they who take vicarious and perverse delight rather than seek or discuss the truth!

...certain ...no make it most segments of pakistani society are sick indeed...mullahs routinely abuse their young wards...nobody makes an issue of it in any concerted way...(instead they do not shy away from hurling qur'an ayahs and hadiths as if they were cluster bombs to annihilate the skeptics) no wonder those abused children abuse others when they grow up...

...men hold hands and walk the bazaar...married couples cannot...even within close families...couples have to sit apart...all in the name of some faux sense of propriety......in faux regression the desi would do victoria proud

...and before some mulla-wannabee accuses me of being an exhibitionist let me remind them that is not what i am writing about...i am discussing decent and forthright behaviour...by both the generations...and if it includes discussion about that aspect of life we call sex, so be it...

summing up...each generation pushes the envelope farther and farther...the older generation has the experience if not the direct knowledge of what the younger generation is up to...so kidding aside...time to get real...

and a post script to above in another post to hamidm:

hypocrisy rules

you got just about everything right...but i am p-off at not only the older generation...if you re-read i was careful in apportioning the blame between both generations...(sorry zeh'r but this is true too)...

in the desi context both generations share the blame...treading the thin line occurs in both generations...so faces are saved...barely...as my friend used to say in a different context gar tum may himmat hay tO baghawat karlo/ warna jahan maaN-baap kehtay haiN shaadi karlo...perhaps...

...just perhaps the younger generation is slightly more at fault...they want the independence and freedom and yet want to retain a fig cover...and in that they put the older generation in a bit of spot...

another post on the zehra pill piece:

i forget who mentioned here that when their daughter is a certain age they would return back...khair ..here is my take:

two/three years back...i had a informal seminar-interview session with the students of Islamic Studies Dept at KU...(that's another story)....and another one at an 'art' school in defence....students were 16-22 years of both sexes...the format in both places was similar....i would ask questions, they would identify themselves and answer my queries...

at this art school...every question i asked the students the principal sahib would answer instead...and in one of his responses he drew a line...'us vs. them'...he opined that here in the west the students were immoral, used drugs...etc....at some point i pointedly asked him to be quite and let the students answer my questions...and in response to principal saheb's tirade i asked the students if they were aware of what goes on in the west...yes in a chorus they replied...

then after more prodding one student said...'Sir, everything that goes on there goes on here...the principal saheb's jaw dropped..."our parent's do not know most of it...let me give you an innocent example...if there is a jam session here...all of us would attend...but nobody would mention it is jam session or a dance session...we would just say there is a lecture at the school...

recall what I wrote about elaichi in an earlier post?

sex, drugs, immorality is as much prevalent in today's kids there as here...with one stark difference...over here there are well publicized programs by the school boards and cities and municipalities and tv channels promoting drug awareness, drug abuse, unwanted pregnancies etc. ...over there...elaichi...