dL

dL wrote: The Brit Desi is an odd creature. Similar to the North American version at a very basic level in the sense that they are all immigrants. But beyond that they seem to have evolved into complex disparate societies. The pull of home on first generation Pakistani's (can't comment on South Asians as a whole) seems a lot stronger in Britain - maintained no doubt by the insular set ups around mosques - schools - communities that they have established. In the immortal words of a Pakistani Embassy employee "hum ney to apna chota sa pakistan banaya hua hay ... yehean tak key paan bhi nahien ch'hora". And the final insult was the chappie who came back to his desk ... to a beeping fax machine. It had just churned out a whole application including passport copies. The chap picked up everything ... waved it in the air ... called out "fax fax aya ... kissseee ka hai" . This to a room populated by just two waiting individuals ..... then chucked the whole pile into the bin .... and calmly went back to a remarkably strong smelling lunch.

I have no issues with the lunch ... or the paan ... but in the "rarified" environs of grosvenor square it jarred ... just a little.

What it does is make you wonder about the definition of civilization. What is it that makes the madness that defines our cities not so civilized ? Who decided spitting paan or refusing to queue is not quite civilized ? And what is it that makes places like chandni bar, southall seem odd in england ... maybe if we were chinese, we'd find china town which no western city seems to be without equally odd ...

and why does it seem odd and slightly sad when 40 (or any other) something desis sit around throwing fivers at delectable young things ... maybe because we know how hypocritically conservative they are in the sacred environs of their own homes ...

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dL:

...imho it all boils down to responsibility... for brevity's sake would you allow me to use one word desi to describe all south asians?...the desis display this innate sense of responsibility which is uniquely locale based...as if something in the ground they are standing upon triggers their behaviour pattern...

but first let me tackle responsibility...

* it is a behaviour pattern cognizant of consequences
* it is inculcated and bred through familial & cultural conditioning
* once cultivated and grown it should not change (ok this needs to be qualified...but you get the drift?)

notice the irony in the bold up here?

the desis disobey and break minor laws ( e.g traffic violations) in desiland without any impunity...and yet the moment they are in a land with better regulated laws they fall in line and most of them become good corporate citizens...hence my illusion earlier to locale based sense of responsibility...

and now in context of the execution of this responsibility by the desis ...am veering between dichotomy and dilemma...the one you captured so well in the embassy clerk:)...(will stay away from tackling the civilisation bit for now)...the dichotomy bit have already outlined earlier wrf to locale based sensibilities...

and...the dilemma...that could be a manifestation of the severe identity crisis...(now i will further narrow down the definition of the desi to mean the pakistanis...the indians would have to come up with their own rational for their aberrant behavior;))...following a religion that they have been told is the key to here and hereafter...and how glorious it is they fail to see any manifestation of it around them...what they see is mere lip service paid by everyone around them...and real worldly success eludes the true believers...and the more disillusioned they become...instead of pulling themselves up by the boot-straps they are advised (almost) to give up...to pray...as if naozobillah Allah is a fool who would tolerate this....so back to the dichotomy...they mean to be good...a good father/husband/muslim whatever...yet cannot give 100 % effort required...so as you pointed out they pretend to be what they aren't...good...in places where they can act it out without effort...citing dogmas...home mostly, social settings, mosques...and when they do not want to pretend...then they find outlets...

(notice, i had a hard time resisting using the said person following the said dictum said this or did that;))

...what the clerk did in the pristine ( am sure) surroundings of the embassy block...or what desis do at halal wedding receptions...yes, halal food, and no no liquor to be served...and their intermittent rush to the parking lot...with one car serving as the dry-bar...or the begumaat in karachi sipping drinks from tea cups so as not to violate some obscure sensibilities...somebody please stop me...

dichotomous detrimental dilemma ...what else?