condescending or concerned?

t: I hate all this money wasted on shaadis.
myf: you sound so condescending

***

the excessive spending on shaadis in Pakistan cannot be justified on any grounds:

* it circulates money in the economy (caterers, tailors, jewelers, dress designers, artisans, etc. are employed)
* gives people relief to forget the harshness and reality around them
* men and women meet possible matches (or parents, matchmakers spot possible matches)... and the most lame excuse i hear
* come on yaar i/he/she will get married only once

...about two years ago irshad ahmed haqqani (to those not familiar: a popular columnist who writes in Urdu for the daiuly jang for the past 28+ years) i would say in june or july of 2001...wrote a column...in which he reproduced two almost identical pleas written in their blood...

from memory let me recall:

1: the first letter was written in blod by four sisters from sargodha

'Baba, we are four sisters from sargodha...our father passed away when we were young...our mother worked at odd jobs here and there and somehow put us through school...we are in high school and colleges now...growing old and unable to marry...because our poor mother does not have money to offer dowry or have them married grandly...we barely survive by giving tuition and teaching qur'an recitation to children in the mohalla...

...we are promised huge sums of money if we go out with men for a short duration ...but nobody comes forward to marry us...

please write in your column about the plight of dowry and marriage spending that affects us just because we are poor...'

2: the second letter, almost identical came from four sisters in Islamabad

'through your widely read columns haqqani saheb please make your readers aware of the plight of an estimated 15- 25 lakh unmarried young women...

...we are graduate sisters…but a grand shaadi and dowry comes in the way...

...we talk religion...but we do not practice....perhaps your readers will be moved to do something about this laanat...'