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Monday, June 29, 2009

Nawab and I: Take me to Lucy's

Nawab belonged to an Ozzie friend of mine Subroto who ran a radio show down under for eleven years. Nawab can talk, if you would listen. Not everyone could converse with him though. He is also a psychic and a mind reader: a trait that automatically invokes honesty in those who could converse with him. There was no way around that. One can coax, cajole, bamboozle humans, but not Nawab. We take pleasure in bringing Nawab here ~t

N: Woof woof!
t: Kiya baat hay Nawab?
N: Why are you the only desi who speaks with his dog in desi language?
t: hmmmm...never occurred to me.
N: And with desis you prefer English.
t: Why do you think it is?
N: Rajititis!
t: Raj-titis?
N: This time you are right.
t: Thanks. So what about Rajtitis?
N: Name the dogs your friends have.
t: Lucy, Charlie, Toto, Tommy...
N: There....where is Champa, Bijli, Pappoo?
t: (never talk to an observant dog)
N: Wrong. You know we can read minds.
t: Yes, sorry Nawab laikin tum ziyadti nahiN ker rahay ho?
N: No. You need me more than I do. Now you are using me too.
t: (He is right, without Nawab this post could not be written.)
N: Right! Now walk me to Lucy's...sorry to the Pitfields
t: Aha, so you like Lucy.
N: You men would never understand. A dog has to satisfy a bitch in heat.
t: are so right and so wrong.
N: Nawab is never wrong.
t: Kiya mutlub? We have morals.
N: Don't go there. Your morals have more holes than Swiss cheese.
t: And you will bring in Chechenya, Kashmir, Darfur, Fata, Palestine, holocaust, Edward, John, Bill...
N: No! I will mention Paul and Jenny, Ken and Sean, Paro and that Djinn...
t: Paul has been seeing Jenny? Does Josie know? And Ken...wish I had your psychic abilities.
N: Start barking and raising one foot.
t: Don't be nasty with me. I like you, but do not over estimate it.
N: You could never find another talking dog. And remove those thoughts of that dog house.
t: Achcha hum aap ko Lucy kay paas lay jaiNgay.
N: Woof woof. Check you cellular. She called.
t: She did. And you tell me now...
N: You bore me.
t: Things I have to put up with, let me get the poop n scoop bag.


N: Take the car. It will rain later.
t: Achcha, tell me what do you think about Obama's speech.
N: He's got too much on his plate.
t: You mean he talks the talk but...
N: You are a quick study.
t: Modesty is a human trait!
N: Woof woof!
t: You don't believe me? I know so many modest people.
N: And now you will name Kerty, Guido, Ravi...
t: Don't tell me you have been surfing Desicritics.
N: I would if you would leave the PC alone.
t: Now you sound like M.
N: She is right.
t: DO you think Bibi would blink?
N: I know why you changed the subject.
t: hmmmmmm
N: I know you are telling yourself, 'I would not bite.'
t: Nawab it is an honour and a privilege to...
N: Stop with your speech I would not talk about M.

(We arrived at my friend's place and Nawab ran off to the backyard. A little later, back in the car.)

N: Make sure you have your passport on you.
t: Thanks, I had almost forgotten.
N: It is the law since June 01.
t: You are lucky, you do not need a passport.
N: I am lucky because I am not human.
t: Why you don't like Americans?
N: Stop trying to read my mind.
t: I'll call it a night. Long drive ahead.


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