A Different Emergency

Chief Justice: Holy Shit!
Missus: (sigh) If you had listened! I have been tying to tell you for two days now to do something about the toilet.
CJ: Sorry dear, that suo moto had been on my mind.
Mrs: Yeah, yeah, I ‘ve heard that excuse before.
CJ: So sorry dear.
Mrs: Am not nagging but you and your suo motos! Presidential Reference, Lal Musjid action, Sharif and Bhutto’s return.
CJ: The nation has entrusted me ….
Mrs: Nation! It will survive. It has for 60 years. But what of Pinky’s acne, the blocked toilet, the chowkidar’s brother?
CJ: Pinky has acne? Why is she moving the Courts? I thought she wanted the corruption charges dropped so she could return.
Mrs: Oofho! Our daughter Pinky’s acne!
CJ: Am so sorry, dear.
Mrs: Yeah, yeah. The toilet overflows, Pinky has acne, the chowkidar’s brother….
CJ: I will drop her at the dermatologist tomorrow on the way to the Court.
Mrs: (sigh) That would be tomorrow. What about the toilet. It is blocked!
CJ: Call the plumber. I cannot issue a suo moto notice to the builder for this!
Mrs: Will you forget about the Presidential Reference, the Lal Musjid fiasco…THINK toilet.
CJ: You do have a point dear. (Picks up the phone and asks the Registrar to issue a suo moto show-cause notice to the Chief Secretary on lack of public toilets.)
Mrs: (screaming) You should go and see a psychiatrist.
CJ: What, dear? You want me to take Pinky  to a pychiatrist for her acne?
Mrs: Oofho! Show your activism at home. Get this toilet fixed!
CJ: OK. I will call Musharraf.
Mrs: What does the President has to do with our toilet?
CJ: Not President Musharraf. I will call Musharraf the plumber.
Mrs: Call now. They are harder to come by than the surgeons.

***

(The phone rings - the President is on the line)

Mr. P: Hello Your Honour
CJ: Hello Mr. President
Mr. P: No hard feelings? Why don’t you come over for drinks?
CJ: Your camp office? With the Press on my tails that is not a good idea. Besides I have an emergency….
Mr. P: Wonderful, you read my mind, I have been thinking about imposing Emergency.
CJ: …our toilet is blocked
Mr. P: So I will see you at the usual time?...oh, your toilet is blocked? I will send Ijaz ul Haq. He is good at it. Good bye.

***

CJ: That was Mr. President.
Mrs: You want to resume drinking with him again?
CJ: You don’t understand these things, dear.
Mrs: What about the emergency here?
CJ: It is about the Emergency. He is sending Zia da puttar.