Non-Verbal Communication 101

When you share the same roof with someone over a period of time you become an expert in the Art of Non-Verbal Communication.

These self taught students of NVC have already completed the pre-requisite How To Avoid Missiles 101: The Art of Ducking Without Quacking where they have learned how to instinctively avoid missiles like bailans (rolling pins), handy pots, pans, cups, mugs and objects d'art.

Reading the trajectory of hurled household objects, calculating its speed, ETA and the force of impact and taking effective counter measures is learned quickly in this self-taught survival course – with or without a wedding certificate.

Over the decades, it seems we have done a doctorate in NVC. ( The we used in the previous sentence is both a first person singular and a collective we.) You don't believe me? theek hay!

An expected or unannounced visitor will be plied with their choice of beverage...with snacks or finger food appropriately warmed...placed in front of them and later removed back to the kitchen...dishes washed...dried...other stuff brought out...music played...good conversation...laced with levity...and if it slips in taste...instantly checked...if it drifts off into murky directions...like updated information on their in-laws or enemies or both...it is killed off in mid-air...all this is done usually without any verbal communication from my Gestapo Commandant...but don't sympathize with me yet...it is not all one way...sigh!..so where was I?

Yes NVC 101 -

* slight twitch of the brows - you are monopolizing conversation
* a tap of one finger - ask them for tea
* multi finger tap - ask them for tea and snacks
* eyes bitingly smiling - they are monopolizing
* eyes unfocussed - do something to make them leave
* eyes focused - why are you not listening
* eyes rolling - this is unending
* mouth pursed - shaamat aanay wali hay

Veteran partners learn to read these signals. Or they pay...correction...one of them pays. No prizes for correct guesses or . More on this shortly.