begum hamidm ko khat
botherm:
...not today...it's one of those mornings when i don't find a target in focus... and am miffed at whoever drifts into my line of firing...i am miffed at you...how can a confessed merlot lover (as Jawahara is a witness - what is the plural of johar anyone? or is she named after that Lady's lover....what's his name?... Pinky's Dad's mentor?)...merlot?.. yeah....how could you switch to cheapies from Scotland...damn what happened to the believer's pride...breaker of idols and ideals... not to mention taste and aroma....pittance sake...you insult Carlin...whatever happened to fine single malts?...are you broke or saving up for the trousseau....worry not they will look after themselves...and thank you too...your fine daughters... it is that woman i am worried about...
***
begun hamid:
...maaf kijiyae brehum hamid, sorry Begum Hamid:
...baad khairiyat kay ittelah hay kay...nahiN yaar itni gaRRhi Urdu itni sub'h sub'h nahiN boli ja sakhti hay....
...haaN tou hum souch rahay thay kay hum ko aap say kabhi kabhi (zoare kabhi kabhi per hay) buhat humdardi hoti hay...kyuN bhala? Hum aur aap , Allah ko beech maiN laaye baghair, kabhi milay nahiN, kahiN door ki bhee shinasaaee nahiN (zoare bhee per hay)...
..yaar yeh baat kahaN say shru ki thee? Aur kis nay? Aur kyuN?
...haaN yaad aagayaa...bhayee humara khayal hay kay aap buhat achchi MaaN aur Biwi haiN (two out of three ain't bad hamidm ... you know that definition of a perfect woman that if given here would hurl fatwas from that cute asif's brigade)...aray kahaN hay woh Shankar ka bachcha ... bolta kyuN nahin hay? Jawab bhee ghayab... khair dafa karo oos ko...tou bibi kya hi achcha hota kay aap achcha khana bhee banana seekh laiN?
....daikhiyay, yeh humari zehni leap hay...agar hum oochcal kar ghalti say talaab oo'boor karnay ki baja'aye beech keecheRR main gir ga'aye tou maaf kardiji'aye .... hum pehlay hee ailaan kar chukay haiN itni sub'h sub'h hum raat jaga kay baad hee souch sakhtay hain aur raat ko kya h'ua yeh batataty huaye thoRRi si shram si aati hay...khair woh alug qissa hay....
...tou naik bibi achcha khana banana seekh ja'aye...
...hum logouN per ihsaan hoga...buhat ihsaan hoga...
...aap ko koi il'm nahin aapka na'kaarah aur naa'laiq shohar bhook aur kharab pakwaan ki boo ko zeh'n main sajaaye yahan jub aata hay tou baghair kisi tafreek o imtiaz kay apni resham maiN laptee jhaRRoo say her kus o na kus ko aisi maarta hay aur aisis sunata hay kay samajhnay walay tou samajhnay wala hum jaisay na-samajh bhee mehzooz huaye baghair nahin reh sakhtay...
...kabhi kabhi tou (zoare pehli kabhi per hay) humain bilkul aisa lagta hay kay jaisay din insaan kay liyay aaya hay na kay oss kay bur ak's isi tarah humari is chowk ki duniya kay ehmaq srif is liyay banay gaaye haiN kay hamid ki reshsmi chapat seh sakhaiN. Maantay haiN yeh andaaz-e-fikr zara kamzore sa hay .... warna humaiN yeh souchnay say koi kyuN roke sakhta tha kay astaghfirullah Woh humaray liyay banaya gaya hay hum Ooskay liyay nahin...yaa aap hamid kay liyay aur hamid humaray liyay... chaliyay is sanjeeda mas'alay ko hum kashmir kay baad hul karlaiN gay...is may khaasi paycheedigiyaaN haiN...laikin andaisha hay... yeh baad wali baat tou kisi na kisi tarah hum hull kar hee laiNgay .. laikin woh pehli wali baat ik ghambir mas'ala hay... jo shayad humaiN bhas'm na karday ik din...
...ummeed hay bacchay khairyat say hongay. (This despite or in spite of Hamid — check with Carlin and let me know – am not sure of the usage this early..)
...thank you for kindly listening to me....i am sure there was a purpose in all this...if i find it by the evening I will call you....
Yours (heck can't say truly: how about well wisher.. NO, that would cause friction between the two of them... how about that standard GOP deal clincher...your most obedient servant...nah too archaic .. besides...faithfully... NO... if i use that I would hear not only from her but HER as well and her too...nah too messy....how about simply yours...nahin yaar ...banda appears liberal ... oh sorry urs ... pseudo-liberal.....but he may mind....so how about the neutral raaqim ul huroof... but you are keying in ....can you create keying ul huroof... perhaps....is there a grand baba of Urdu here...till then how about simply sincerely...but others brag you are insincere....aren't you.... no those are unsubstantiated rumours by disgruntled friends...phir kya...just say ijazat and sign away...hmmmm....yeh theek hay.
ijazat,
temporal bin temporal bin temporal
(There was a paucity of first names in our village just like former Sec Gen's Boutros Boutros Boutros'....)
...not today...it's one of those mornings when i don't find a target in focus... and am miffed at whoever drifts into my line of firing...i am miffed at you...how can a confessed merlot lover (as Jawahara is a witness - what is the plural of johar anyone? or is she named after that Lady's lover....what's his name?... Pinky's Dad's mentor?)...merlot?.. yeah....how could you switch to cheapies from Scotland...damn what happened to the believer's pride...breaker of idols and ideals... not to mention taste and aroma....pittance sake...you insult Carlin...whatever happened to fine single malts?...are you broke or saving up for the trousseau....worry not they will look after themselves...and thank you too...your fine daughters... it is that woman i am worried about...
***
begun hamid:
...maaf kijiyae brehum hamid, sorry Begum Hamid:
...baad khairiyat kay ittelah hay kay...nahiN yaar itni gaRRhi Urdu itni sub'h sub'h nahiN boli ja sakhti hay....
...haaN tou hum souch rahay thay kay hum ko aap say kabhi kabhi (zoare kabhi kabhi per hay) buhat humdardi hoti hay...kyuN bhala? Hum aur aap , Allah ko beech maiN laaye baghair, kabhi milay nahiN, kahiN door ki bhee shinasaaee nahiN (zoare bhee per hay)...
..yaar yeh baat kahaN say shru ki thee? Aur kis nay? Aur kyuN?
...haaN yaad aagayaa...bhayee humara khayal hay kay aap buhat achchi MaaN aur Biwi haiN (two out of three ain't bad hamidm ... you know that definition of a perfect woman that if given here would hurl fatwas from that cute asif's brigade)...aray kahaN hay woh Shankar ka bachcha ... bolta kyuN nahin hay? Jawab bhee ghayab... khair dafa karo oos ko...tou bibi kya hi achcha hota kay aap achcha khana bhee banana seekh laiN?
....daikhiyay, yeh humari zehni leap hay...agar hum oochcal kar ghalti say talaab oo'boor karnay ki baja'aye beech keecheRR main gir ga'aye tou maaf kardiji'aye .... hum pehlay hee ailaan kar chukay haiN itni sub'h sub'h hum raat jaga kay baad hee souch sakhtay hain aur raat ko kya h'ua yeh batataty huaye thoRRi si shram si aati hay...khair woh alug qissa hay....
...tou naik bibi achcha khana banana seekh ja'aye...
...hum logouN per ihsaan hoga...buhat ihsaan hoga...
...aap ko koi il'm nahin aapka na'kaarah aur naa'laiq shohar bhook aur kharab pakwaan ki boo ko zeh'n main sajaaye yahan jub aata hay tou baghair kisi tafreek o imtiaz kay apni resham maiN laptee jhaRRoo say her kus o na kus ko aisi maarta hay aur aisis sunata hay kay samajhnay walay tou samajhnay wala hum jaisay na-samajh bhee mehzooz huaye baghair nahin reh sakhtay...
...kabhi kabhi tou (zoare pehli kabhi per hay) humain bilkul aisa lagta hay kay jaisay din insaan kay liyay aaya hay na kay oss kay bur ak's isi tarah humari is chowk ki duniya kay ehmaq srif is liyay banay gaaye haiN kay hamid ki reshsmi chapat seh sakhaiN. Maantay haiN yeh andaaz-e-fikr zara kamzore sa hay .... warna humaiN yeh souchnay say koi kyuN roke sakhta tha kay astaghfirullah Woh humaray liyay banaya gaya hay hum Ooskay liyay nahin...yaa aap hamid kay liyay aur hamid humaray liyay... chaliyay is sanjeeda mas'alay ko hum kashmir kay baad hul karlaiN gay...is may khaasi paycheedigiyaaN haiN...laikin andaisha hay... yeh baad wali baat tou kisi na kisi tarah hum hull kar hee laiNgay .. laikin woh pehli wali baat ik ghambir mas'ala hay... jo shayad humaiN bhas'm na karday ik din...
...ummeed hay bacchay khairyat say hongay. (This despite or in spite of Hamid — check with Carlin and let me know – am not sure of the usage this early..)
...thank you for kindly listening to me....i am sure there was a purpose in all this...if i find it by the evening I will call you....
Yours (heck can't say truly: how about well wisher.. NO, that would cause friction between the two of them... how about that standard GOP deal clincher...your most obedient servant...nah too archaic .. besides...faithfully... NO... if i use that I would hear not only from her but HER as well and her too...nah too messy....how about simply yours...nahin yaar ...banda appears liberal ... oh sorry urs ... pseudo-liberal.....but he may mind....so how about the neutral raaqim ul huroof... but you are keying in ....can you create keying ul huroof... perhaps....is there a grand baba of Urdu here...till then how about simply sincerely...but others brag you are insincere....aren't you.... no those are unsubstantiated rumours by disgruntled friends...phir kya...just say ijazat and sign away...hmmmm....yeh theek hay.
ijazat,
temporal bin temporal bin temporal
(There was a paucity of first names in our village just like former Sec Gen's Boutros Boutros Boutros'....)
posted by temporal at 12/02/2005
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