the other asian woman

#2782 The Other Asian Woman on October 19, 2000
("Judge not lest ye be judged")

IGNORING THE PROCLAMATION
(death wish, perhaps?)

Section One (sex)

O O and O: there you go
ruffling fundafeathers ..er/a...gain.

Recall what you said once
about journos
don't get it, they don't
(well, delicately ploddin' along)
being liberal Pakistani Muslim
we get it
perhaps more than we deserve
we get it
and am sure
you get it
(mischievous wink aside)
you get it
but
our fights are
who'll be on back
who'll come on top.....

(--yeh ghalti maaf kardena meem
kuch behak gaye thay hum...)


Section Two (what actually happened)

(Over the counter under the table)
hmmm...achchi line hay yeh
jo hum likh chukay haiN
wohi hota hay
bar bar wohi hota hay
flashing lites ... cellulites
androgynous ... well? you?
hah! an' another hah!


Section Three (the pity party)

Remorse
bottomless pit
eternity's excrement
cross gender, cross nation
cannot hide or fill or wrap
["I'm sorry."]
yeah well, so am I
we're all sad and sorry
mushrooming apologies
inflicting 'glowing' sadness
in an ever increasing circle.

["Its ok," you heard yourself say]
and smoke in silence
POP loaded THC?
(Pride of Pakistan?
Point of Purchase?)
in a sea of SEA.


Section Four (self-esteem issues)

Thought long and hard ....
don't have any ---
easier it becomes
for me
to trash refuse
tell me what use
is to reuse
today's trash
for morrow's?

besides

Mark Twoish has said
self sacrifice
enables us
to sacrifice others
without blushing

(should I tell on Mark?
should I use quotes?
ah, what's the use...?)


Section Five (realizing why I shouldn't have self-esteem issues)

Mrs. Hamid?
Oh that one!
(can I be cruel? please?
please?)

(Mrs. Hamid
has neither!)

Lucky Mrs. Hamid
blessed with neither
brain or body.
One big incubator
of donated ovum
and spermatozoon.
Lucky Mrs. Hamid ---
over endowed, over blessed
regurgitator
of borrowed words,
ideas, sperms.
Lucky?

(Oh, and another good thing
lucky neigbours of
Lucky Mrs. Hamid
thankful for ever
for li'l Hamidah
who'd do anything
anytime, anyplace for anybody
such a generous soul...)

(Told ya could be cruel...)


Section Six (I have gazed into the abyss, and I swear it winked at me)

Peace?
of mind?
IN mind!
--u -now what?
tried a mighty search
of all engines
failed to find
or confront any abyss
or would have winked...
---toka wizened---
did find an abyss within me
and floated and swam in it
fun 'n frolic
till it lasted ...
till I imploded again
and again...
for free tokas?
anyone?


Section Seven (who gives a trumpet?)

Israfeel?
Nah, that'll be too poignant
like when you said
you are invisible in company
swallowing stories
after sad stories
twitching
expecting
dreams to knock
on the walls
reverberations of a day
that will never be born...
who am I to judge?
Pass me the POP

---the end---