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Wednesday, February 18, 2009

5 of the Most Overrated Legal Highs -- An Attack on Everyday Drugs (and a Few You've Never Heard of)

Have you ever noticed that a lot of the legal drugs out there -- including the popular ones like alcohol -- are wildly overrated? As in, they don't match their reputations, and have negative side effects that are often far stronger than the drug itself? I take all kinds of drugs, but these five, even though they are perfectly legal in all 50 states, I'm pretty sure I'm never going to touch again.

For good reason people have abandoned much of our old caveman ways of life. If you have, say, a tumor the size of a football in your stomach, you'd rightly turn to a surgeon who could take it out with great precision, and you've got a shot at life afterward. Automatically, we know to laugh out loud, good and proper, at the shaman who would propose to cure us by smearing mouse blood and blueberries on the protruding lump. Yet alcohol, a Neolithic-era drug, is still very much with us. In 10,000 ways, alcohol is locked into this culture, like granite. We sit around in bars, wasting our precious time and money. We empty out our wallets to buy a handful of vodka bottles on the way to some party guaranteed to degenerate into sentimental babble and mindless groping within a few hours.

This "drug" just has me perplexed and bewildered. How the hell did this weak, ineffectual plant ever crawl out of nature's backyard and into my rolling papers? It has a reputation for providing aural hallucinations -- sounds you hear that aren't real. Sinicuichi, as the plant is nicknamed (its real name is Heimia salicifolia), is for sale by many online vendors as a rockin' great time.
The smoke was thick, visibly yellowish from tar, and had absolutely no effect on me whatsoever. I've read a lot of negative accounts of aching joints, soreness -- but you can never be sure. People lie and exaggerate about the bad trips they have on drugs as often as they claim that smoking some random plant is like hearing Hendrix on an invisible iPod.


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