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Friday, December 02, 2005

partially on love: pyaar aur nafrat


Thank you Pat. As a life long student of the aberrant behaviour of the Devi I can share many a insight. This is a wide canvas. Need to narrow it down.

If I were to take all available descriptions of Love, personify it, and arbitrarily divide that person at the waist into two, this is what we may find in the top half.

I love my car. Takes me to the gas station. She loves gasoline. Once filled, she takes me where I want to go. And back so I can indulge in other loves.

I love words. Look for them in books written with love and passion or hatred and fury by authors who have experienced the various manifestations of love.

I love moderation in excess and hate hatred, also in excess. And I find the latter-- hatred --- not excess rather troubling at times.

I love peace. Peace and tranquillity enable me to reflect on other things I love. Nature and its mysteries. Why there is so much hatred overflowing in us desis. To twist an old dictum -- where there is hate there is love? Only here it seems we are mostly awash in Hatred not Love. But I keep probing for the elusive love here. And often, and unexpectedly I succeed in finding it here.

I love friends in the narrowest sense of the word. Am lucky in that I do have a few of them. Could not dream of living without their loyalty, concern, affection, thoughtfulness and support. Could not thank them enough. Thank you M! Thank you others. You know who you are. I depend on you.

I love plants. They exude pleasure and peace of a different kind. They are serene and unobtrusive, undemanding and uncomplaining. They give off oxygen. And they depend on me.

I love my neon tetra. She has an attention span of fifteen seconds. It intrigues me to think about what she may be thinking as she swims in the aquarium from end to end. Perhaps it makes sense that she has short attention span. Or existence may be unbearable for her. I also wonder if she is capable of loving me back. Or of thinking.

Allow me to share a secret with you. Sometimes I love being left alone. Mainly so I can indulge in a lifelong nurtured passion of doing nothing. As if I have this innate urge to be called a lazy bum. Sometimes I steal a moment or two on a secluded beach in the Caribbean from Mother Nature and usually gloat over those stolen moments for a long time after returning to the frigid North.

Pat, these are some hurried observations of the Love I have felt and experienced from the waist up in the allegory.

As for 'hmmpphh!' can I associate this with a certain horizontal noise made by animate and inanimate objects? This kind of love, intrinsically but not totally experienced from the waist down, has intrigued me since early teen years. (Oh, don't be alarmed. Experts tell me it is normal!) And have been personally collecting lustful and climactic experiences, observations and impressions for the past many years:) In this never-ending quest I have come to certain conclusions that modesty prevents me from properly and adequately sharing here.

pyaar aur nafrat
nashaa pyar ka nahiN kum
nafrat kay nashay say

ik chuckki kay paat haiN
nafrat o pyar
gardish maiN bun jatay haiN
mujassim e mohabbat e as'l

aa'mayzish hay yeh mohabbat
--sa'hara, saa'ya, saath,
qurbat, chahat, zaroorat,
garmi, beemari, yaktaa
milaap, andaisha, lum's
mooskurahat, shar'm, soorkhi
lakh roop haiN
aur jaan? ek hay woh!


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